07 August 2009

Tree, Leave and wind - Leaf departure because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?

a series of different point of view from a same story of a triangular love! Each sharing its own experience from varies perspective! If u need more love from someone... do love that someone more first...


Tree
====
I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.

I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watched me chase after gals, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years.

She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laughed at her the whole day. When everybody went back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I have watched her cry for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes were filled with tears. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.

The next day, she still laughed & joked with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heartache is as bad as hers.

When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know who the guy is. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and is interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.

I can't show her my heartache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reached home, the heartache was so strong that I couldn't stand it. It was like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too?

During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says: "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?"



Leaf
====
During Pre-U days, I liked to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be described by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemons. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hid my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal.

I like him & I know he likes me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he loves me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart bleed. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he doesn't like me, why does he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?

Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompanies me for 3 years.

Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to went after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?



Wind
====
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust of wind. A wind that will blow her away from the tree. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talked with gals, there was a jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there was a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.

One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepted the note. The next day, she appeared & passed me a note and left.

Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away.

It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It's because leaf never wants to leave tree.

I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accepted my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked: "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head". She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rushed to her place & pressed her door bell. During the moment when she opened the door. I hugged her tightly.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?

Moral

In love, we win very rarely, but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself.
There comes a time when we stop loving someone, not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that, they'd be happier if we let go....
Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss?

This is because THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE UNSEEN.

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world. It's the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched our lives.
A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for them, it's when they ignore you and still you long for them. It's when they begin to love another and yet you smile and say, "I'm happy for you." If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.
The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall. Somehow, along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize that there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.
Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on.
It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever. ..
It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. It's best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.


中文版本
**********

~~樹 ~~

會叫樹的原因,是因為我擅長畫水彩畫,最愛畫樹,久而久之,我的畫作右下方索性以一棵樹來代表我。 高中三年交過五個女朋友,有一個女孩子,我很愛她,卻遲遲不敢追,她沒有美麗的面孔,沒有姣好的身材,沒有撩人的魅力,一個再平凡不過的女孩子。

我 喜歡她,真的真的很喜歡她,喜歡她的單純,她的直率,她的可愛,她的智障,她的脆弱。 不追她的原因,也許是潛意識覺得平凡如她配不上我;也許是因為怕在一起後,一切的好感都會消失;也許是怕外人的指指點點傷害了她;也許是覺得,她會是我 的,不用急著為了她而放棄一切。最後這個原因,讓她陪了我三年,讓她看著我和別的女孩子廝混了三年,讓她心痛了三年。

她很想當一個好演 員,但我卻像一個嚴苛的導演。我和第二個女朋友在廁所接吻,被她撞見,她尷尬的笑笑說:「Go ~ on!」然後跑掉,第二天,她眼睛腫得像核桃一樣,我故意不去猜想是誰讓她哭成這樣,嘲笑了她一天,她在所有人都回家後,在教室哭了起來,她不知道練球回 來拿東西的我,看了她一個多小時。

我的第四個女朋友,一直很不喜歡她,有次她們兩個吵了起來,我知道依她的個性不會去惹事,但我還是護著女朋友,她被我吼了一下後,愣住,眼淚滑了下來,我無視她的眼淚,陪女友走出教室,第二天,她依舊嘻嘻哈哈的和我開玩笑,我知道她很難過,但她不會知道我的心不比她好受。

當我和第五個女朋友分手時,我約她出去玩,玩了一天我對她說:"我有事要對妳說。""真巧,我也有事要對你說。
""我和她分手了。"
"我和他在一起了。"
我知道"他"是誰,他追她也有一陣子了,是個蠻可愛的男孩子,活潑有趣,充滿了熱情,追她追得滿城風雨。
我 不能表現自己的心痛,只能笑笑地恭喜她,但當我回到家,心中的痛楚強烈得令我無法承受,像有個千斤重的石頭壓在我胸口,我無法呼吸,想大叫卻叫不出來,眼 淚竟然滑了下來,我掩面大哭,多少次,我也看著她為了那個不願承認的人掩面大哭。 畢業典禮時,我在手機上發現了一封簡訊,這是十天前,我掩面大哭時傳來的,只是我一直沒有去開過機。
<葉子的離開,是因為風的追求,還是樹的不挽留>

~~葉子~~

高 中時,喜歡蒐集葉子,why?因為我覺得,一片葉子要離開它長期依賴的樹,好勇敢哩! 高中三年,我和一個男孩子很好,不算男女朋友那種好,是好朋友那種好,但是,在他交第一個女朋友時,我學會了一種不該有的感覺,吃醋,心中的酸,不是一顆 檸檬可以比喻,那就像是100顆臭酸的檸檬,酸到不行,他們只在一起兩個月,當他們分手,我還得掩飾自己心中強烈的喜悅,但是一個月後,他和另一個女孩子 在一起。

我喜歡他,也知道他喜歡我,可是,他為什麼總是不追我呢?明明喜歡彼此,為什麼不行動?每當他交一個女朋友,我就心痛一次,一次又一次的打擊,讓我不禁懷疑,是我一廂情願嗎?不愛我,為什麼要對我那麼好?他對我的好,已經不是普通朋友可以做到。

喜歡一個人,好難過,我可以清楚的知道他的喜好,他的習慣,唯獨他對我的感覺,我猜不透,難道要我這個女孩子去開口嗎?儘管如此,我還是想在他身邊,關心他,陪他,愛他,也許算是一種等待的行為,等待他回來愛我,就像每天晚上等他的電話,等他的簡訊,我知道,就算他再忙,也會撥出一些時間給我。這樣的等 待,陪了我三年,等待是難熬的,是令人想放棄的,但等到的那一剎那,讓人第二天會繼續等下去。這樣的煎熬,這樣的痛苦,這樣的幸福,這樣的矛盾,陪了我三 年。

直到三年級下學期,高二一個學弟喜歡上我,每天的熱情追求,令我從一開始的拒絕,漸漸願意挪出我心房的一些位置給他。他像一陣溫柔而 持久的風,撩撥我這片搖搖欲墜的葉子,到最後,我發現我已經不想只留一點點的位置給這陣風,我知道這陣風,會帶我這片傷痕累累的葉子,到更幸福的地方。 於是我離開了樹,樹只是笑笑,沒有留。
<葉子的離開,是因為風的追求,還是樹的不挽留>

~~風 ~~

因 為我喜歡的女孩子叫葉子,因為她有一棵令她依戀的樹,所以我要當一陣風,一陣呵護她的風。 第一次看見她,是高二我轉來一個月後的事,個子小小的她坐在球場旁,一雙眼凝視著同和我在球場的學長,每天的社團時間,她總會坐在那裡,一個人,和朋友, 她的眼光依舊凝視著他,當他和女孩子打打鬧鬧,她的眼中有淚,當他看向她,她的眼中有笑。

看她成了我的習慣,就像她愛看他。有一天她沒 來,我心中沒來由的焦慮與不安,我無法解釋那種感覺,除了不安,還是不安,而且那學長竟然也不在。我衝去他們教室,躲在外面,看著學長罵她,她的眼淚,他 的離去。 第二天,她依舊坐在場邊,看著他,我走過去,對她笑一笑,拿了張紙條給她,她先是驚訝的看著我,然後笑笑地收下。 隔天,她拿著紙條出現在我面前,然後離開。
「葉子的心太沉重,風吹不動。」
「不是葉子的心太沉重,是葉子根本就不想離開樹。」
我回給她這段話後,她漸漸會和我說話,收我的禮物,接我的電話。

我 知道她喜歡的不是我,但我還是有毅力一定要讓她喜歡上我,四個月內我告白了不下20次,每一次她都轉移話題,但我還是不會放棄,我決定要的人,我就一定會 給它追過來! 一直到不知道第幾次的告白,出了口,雖然知道她一定會又說到別的事,但還是有一絲絲希望她的答應,沒想到她都不說話
"妳在幹嘛?怎麼不說話?"我對著話筒說。
"我在點頭。""啊?"我不敢相信自己的耳朵。
"我在點頭!"她大聲叫。我甩掉電話,匆匆披上一件衣服,上了機車,衝去她們家按門鈴,當她開門的那一剎那,緊緊抱住她。
<葉子的離開,是因為風的追求,還是樹的不挽留。>

看完这故事,我 感同身地哭了!!! :'(
等不到电话的我, 得不到回应的我, 是多么的难受。如果要我先开口结束又深感不舍,但是什么也不说更是无奈!答案其实很明显,只不过是我利用了你的不说清楚自己骗自己! 从头到尾,从不知哪里出错,那么疼我的你竟变得如此的对待我。。或许,当我决定再一次相信爱情,相信你是真心的时后,我已经是个
傻瓜了...


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