celest tan

I really hate to see her in this state although i totally understand how she's feeling and why's she as depressed as she is now!

When i broke off with one of my ex, the one that make my heart as dead as it is now... i begged him to come back to me and give me another chance and she scolded me. She ask me why am i doing such a disgraceful thing to upset myself as well as those who concern about me? I couldn't do anything but feel sad to the core and although i received her message but i still cannot resist the pain in my heart... But thats the thing that change me once i put that r/s aside... ever since then, i enclosed my heart in order not to get hurt again.. although i failed and get hurt again yet i will never ever begged or plead anyone to stay by my side. I'll deal with the pain my own way that hardly people can see, i dunno what is pain and what is numb. i just ignore everything as if i'm a living dead!

Yes is true the pain is yet to be there everytime thats why i dunno what i want to see from her right now too... too contradicting! Its is worse to enclose ur feeling and act like a total bitch that everybody see u to be, but....... the way she's crying and destructing herself is no better and i feel hurt more than anything to see her this way or another... i just hope all the bad luck can come to me like it always do... and wish for her happiness, u know, i still want to be her bridesmaid.

come all the bad luck... Give her a chance and just come to me as i am already very numb to the pain and i'm not afraid to face anymore of  it!