My Birthday!

Haiz..... Dunno how to say about this birthday... Should be just another normal day for me...

I had my advance birthday present pretty early from my sis after i got into an armed robbery and my handphone being snatched away. My beloved sis bought me a brand new sony vivaz as present, but i lost it after using for less than a week and one month before my birthday my birthday gift was already lost! I got so upset that i hate myself so much and has got no mood to do anything at all!!!

I wonder if i can still really enjoy this coming birthday under this kind of mood.... Luckily i had Raymond by my side who encourages me to take up with morning job and get myself more busy and too tired to think about all this nonsense that is killing me deadly.

Although there are times we quarrel but yet he still give in to me afterall all this while. i wonder am i being too hard on him as my past relationship was in a mess and i just want someone who can tolerate all the nonsense so that i can feel the importance of myself or what? I really appreciate the thought of him to help me have a celebration as those who knows me well, they know how much i love to have one but didn't dare to think of it much as this loner here is always celebrating her bday with tears. Therefore is like, looking forward with fear that kind of feeling that i don't really know how to put it into words.. Grand celebration to me is like a dream ever since young... looking at photos of my sister having parties with envy as i do not have one during my childhood timess... but 希望越高, 失望就越大。

This is what i should know best however, i still cannot control myself of being snap between wanting to celebrate and not wanting.... i hate this kind of confusion i create for myself but am constantly creating it arrrgggggg......
But one this great this year is that i have a good boss that is very understanding and kind. Who offered me to take leave and spend my birthday with my family instead of going to work. I really am touched by it dramatically as most of u guys know that i am always in bad luck with jobss... All my ex-bosses are all babaric and not understanding... I think this might be the most wonderful gift life have given to me this year. Steve and Enqi... I hope that u both know how much i appreciate you guys... you both are GREAT~~!! Muackkzzzz ^_^